Why the Hell Am I Doing This Course?
Hello, it is Jide
If you are wondering why I haven’t written anything here in ages, it is simple. It started September, 2019. I was young, naive, and thought the best way to spend the next 6+ years of my life was to live off energy drinks and anxiety. But I mean, as long as I get to wear scrubs, right?
It didn’t make sense then. All everyone talked about was job security and the “money” doctors get. I didn’t know how big of a soup I was in until May 4, 2023. I had enough and I knew it.
When I came out of the histo-embryo exam hall, I took a deep breath. “I survived,” I whispered under my breath. There was a brief moment of silence before medical students came out of the halls.
“E choke!” Femi shouted.
Others called out lecturers' names and quickly followed them with curses. Materials started to litter the ground and if you pass the department at the time you are likely to step on pictures of craniopagus babies from our twinning material. It was a treacherous exam, but that wasn't all.
“I am a mother. I won't set anything out of my material,” Mrs Komolafe's voice echoed in MDL 2.
Looking back, nothing fueled my rage more. Ma, but all these stephlococci is not in the material. Why did she have to set us up? We were in the exam and her part dazed us. What the hell were these questions?
Believe your lecturers at your peril
If you love to put your brain into gear, a nice session of Anki cards every now and then will do the trick. The dark background interface mirrors the bland feeling of the med school lifestyle. But it works for some people.
Before the exams, we called these people the Anki warriors. You see, Histo-Embryo is two courses morphed into one. I don’t know whose bright idea it was to do that! But that’s how it has been. So Anki was necessary. Naturally, we had those that were very good with Anki.
“I finished 1,000 cards today,” Daniel said in great fits of pride.
The people around him hailed “Idan” to which he stood tall, proud of what he had achieved. But Medicine is not a house of cards. Daniel was the first to start the tantrum on May 4.
“It was not in the material nowww”
Because if it was in the material, his cards would have saved him.
Predator’s bright yellow colour now gives me PTSD. Days to the exams, the energy drink and I rode the waves of passion. It was a little of “congenital anomalies” and a gulp of predator to push it down. Predator was sacrosanct in this journey to become a medical doctor.
And the funny thing is I know a thousand and one ways energy drinks are bad for our bodies. But something had to keep the eyes opened and the brain working. Predator did a great job at that. However, when predator starts to taste weird, you know you have had enough. And I did have enough.
Even energy drinks couldn't help hold it together.
“It wasn’t from the PQ,” Esther said with her eyes holding the emotions we all had on our faces. “It was meant to be from the PQ. We read the PQ.” We did read the PQ. The exam was rushed. Postponed till they could no longer push it any further. It only made sense that they weren’t prepared and would set PQ for us. But Dr. Arayombo had other plans. Textbooks… or what was it?
He brought numbers into his questions and gave it a new form. He used a word we don't often see in exams “approximately.”
Jide is approximately 21 years old: True or False?
If you had any easy time solving that, good for you. We didn't during the exam. When Ope talked about those set of questions, we all guffawed. And at that moment I understood the quote—“Misery loves company.” Looking at all the concerned faces of fear, it was great to know we were all kindred spirits bounded by pain.
Almost no one leaves medicine the same
We have seniors, obviously. Those who had survived the same paths we are now crossing. On April 28th, John, a part 4 student said,
“Histo-embryo is still simple. Have you even done pharmacology yet? It is too early to complain.”
You mean more shege awaits us after all this. But I think by then I might have grown numb to complaining. Occasionally give strident screams into my pillow, but that’s all. Fascinating! To think, the quote This shege ends with us doesn’t apply to the part 2 class.
It is May 14th, and I slept 8 hours, binged watched Queen Charlotte, and have forgotten all my promises never to crash read again. Watch Movies now and watch ninja nerd with 2x later.
Medicine is for the strong; I am not strong. Yet.
Crash reading is a sure one-way ticket to insanity. I highly don't recommend. Medicine is bad enough with how much it steals from you. It is stressful, arduous, and despicably tortuous. But my love for it is a weird one and my approach to romance is frightful recklessness. I want it to choke me. Maybe I love it hard. Maybe I am already losing my mind. I don't know. It is hard to tell these days.
But weirdly, reading feels like chatting with an unrequited lover. I give all of the attention and get none back. Love makes the heart beat faster, right? My heart has been beating faster these day.
After the exam, I realized it wasn't an exam. It was just a weird first date, and I think I left a bad first impression.
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