I know it is not common knowledge, but you have a life after breakfast. Actually, Emeka, you don’t die after your girlfriend leaves you. I know, right? I was surprised when I found out too. So here is a narrative of someone, not me, who just had breakfast. Read this post to get the whole story.
Day 1– Is this how heartbreak feels like? You never thought the term was so literal until you felt your chest ache.
Is this what breakfast taste like? Who uses this much ata rodo. You had to commend the fact that you didn’t cry on your lonely walk back home. Her words rummaged your head. You couldn’t get it. Haven’t you been good enough?
Oh, of course, SAPA and love don't quite get along, you thought.
You broke down at the canteen next to your hostel. The canteen still bustled with life. The smell of mummy Sarah’s jollof rice didn’t even move you. That definitely hinted at something being wrong.
You told your roommate about it—the way she said it—and he laughed. It is a man’s instinct to laugh at a brother’s predicament. You would laugh too — if you weren’t the victim. He laughed so hard, you had to join him. Nothing was more soothing at the moment. He said it will be okay, and that made you feel better.
Day 7– Six days had passed, but your duvet still smelt like her. Her perfume was one thing you loved so much about her and also something you were starting to hate. You tossed it to the other side of the room.
But even your sheets smelt like her too…
“Mo r’ógo, ṣé èwọ̀ ni láti fẹ́’yàn báyìí?” You said.
In a way, you still smelt like her. Curse a good perfume!
Day 15– You got home from another uneventful lecture. You barely listened as usual. You kept refreshing your chats for messages of how sorry she is. It is day 15, why hasn't she sent the "I want to get back together" text.
You joined the #getfitwithvells program and opted for the 200 days work out challenge. You started with pushups. Your roommate saw you and laughed so hard. He asked if you were trying to make the floor pregnant with how low your hips were hitting it. You said you were trying to keep fit, but that only made him laughed harder.
Day 20– Doing press-ups was definitely a cry for help. You wouldn't do 10 press-ups if it meant saving your life, and here you were trying to do 20. Your guys came over. And God, the bants! One of them had said, "she is probably with another guy saying my baby, my baby, them de give am tatatata," it was funny, yunno the video and all. You wanted to laugh, you really wanted to laugh, but tears came out.
Day 25– The common saying is, to get over someone, you have get under someone else. The logic didn’t quite make sense to you, because you prefered to be on top. But it was a saying for a reason. You chat up this girl and told her you want to cook pounded yam and egusi soup for her. Even though you knew your three-year-old brother had a better chance at making that happen than you. You hoped she understood. It was Twitter’s way of telling a girl to come and have fun. Because everybody knows Netflix and chill is all about the chill.
Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. But when she came, she didn’t notice your large eye bags and teary eyes. You were grateful to God for that. She also didn’t ask for pounded yam. And that was another reason to be grateful. No one would want to see a room go out in flames.
And yeah, you figured that getting under someone to get over someone was a myth. But how would you know, you were on top.
Day 31– Gone were the days when everyone envied your singing voice. Now you sounded like clashing cymbals. Or, as your friend described, you croaked, not sang. But still, you sang Juice Wrld songs now, and yes, your roommate had to get earbuds. Reminds me of you by Juice Wrld became your favourite song. If you know, you know.
You would play Omo Ope by mistake, no shade intended 💀, and remember how it was her favourite song, how she downloaded it for you and played it so many times, until the song saturated your room with Asake’s beautiful voice and Olamide’s deep message.
Quite ironic, how the verse "Mo mú ọmo mẹfa lo lẹ.." made a lot more sense when she left. Were you number 4?
Day 40– Your friends had an intervention for you. "Bro, this is sad" was drawn all over their faces.
“Guy, pick out five things you didn't like about Jessica."
"She is too beautiful?"
"That's not how the game works"
"Say bad things. Bad things!"
But It was hard for you. You never noticed any bad things. I mean, you were too busy noticing other things.
Day 42– There is a thin line between stalking and checking up on someone. The line had started to blur for you. Toba and your roommate had you delete her number and all the pictures you had of your time together. And here on out, you started to feel better. Your friends helped a lot.
Day 47– It was July 28, 2022. You met someone on your way back home from campus. You had stopped to buy a banana.
"Those ones aren't good. Buy this instead."
You looked up when you heard the voice, and there she was. Probably the most beautiful girl you had even seen. She wore a purple dress and wore a bag with a Luffy (one piece) sticker. And of course, she had a banging body. She smiled too. You were so close to her that you could smell her perfume. It wasn’t like Jessica’s, but you knew it would stick to your duvet very soon. You dropped the banana and said…
"Hey, my name is Jide."
P.s– Separate the writer from the writing 😂
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See you next Monday,
Jide
